It seems strange to me that the most important thing in a person’s life isn’t themselves. The most important thing is their image, their ego, is the “like and the dislike”, is the way they look. People seemingly don’t give 100%, their life is not a “life or death” thing. They are not serious about transforming their lives.
They get to a place and then they stop, I call that a stop point. Movement isn’t caused by these workshops and conversations. They might be a part of it but it is what you do with it, how you apply it in your life, and sometimes it is seeing what you do next, and beginning to do it that causes movement.
A stop point is a place where someone might refuse to go any farther, where they are no longer in relationship with themselves for the movement of themselves. They say, “That’s it, I don’t want any more.” They just stop. That’s not saying it’s a bad thing, but it’s a thing you need to recognize, it’s the telling of the truth of it. So if you hit a stop point, and you are full and you say, “that’s it.” then you stop and you look at it and say, “well, I hit a stop point, and that is ok.” Observing the stop point actually gives you the energy or motivation to keep going, if that is your intent. If your intent is to discover yourself then the motor gets started again, so to speak, you start it back up and go on.
The problem with these kinds of things that we do is they interrupt your life because most people want to be the way they are and then they want to be loved and accepted, and they want to be loved for the way they are. They want to be with someone who can accept them for who they are. So a guy is a macho, hondo man beating on his chest, who likes to beat on women and control them and then he wants the woman to accept him for who he is. Or a woman who is bitchy and moany and complains about everything and then wants to be accepted for who she is. That is an indication of a stop point.
They don’t care to be any better, to improve themselves, they want people to love them as they are. In a certain sense it is like you have a communicable/infectious disease and you are going to spread it all around to everybody and then you want everybody to hug you and be around you.
People want to stay the way they are and then have something happen out of the “clear blue” to transform their lives. Or they want/expect the other person to change.
The irony of the “wanting to be accepted” is that deep down inside you believe that no one could love you, and that if they did, then you knew they were loving a false person because you knew you were false/fake (lying about almost everything in your life), and you wouldn’t even want that person because they couldn’t figure out that you were being fake. It is really crazy.
It is like W.C. Field’s statement, “I don’t want to be part of any organization that would have me as a member.” You know you are fake, and anyone loving you would have to be an idiot (and a fake themselves) to love you, yet you want them to accept/love you.
If there is a true manifestation of love it is the pointing at the flaw in every instance that you can. It is to speak the truth to the person you are with. And do that from a clear space, without having an animosity or anger or revenge or any manipulation included in it.
If you actually care to transform your life, then would you rather have people who accept you as you are and allow you to continue being who you are, or someone who will speak the truth with you and point out where you have a flaw? This is not to say that they are complaining about everything you do or say, and that they are bitching all the time, quite the opposite. I am saying that they are ok with who you are, and care enough to see your life get better and easier and transformed.
Wouldn’t you prefer to have someone who will tell you the truth and not let you “fall asleep” into the old consciousness, who is there to help keep you awake? Someone who will keep poking you and keeping you aware and awake? And that needs to be mutual with permission given.
And if anger does happen, which probably will happen since most people think they are right and want to stay asleep, then you need to back away for a little while. Yet, sometimes they will use that anger as a wall to never let the truth in, so you might need to find a time when it is ok for both to speak.
This is a massive thing because it can get convoluted; it can be confused with criticism or a “put down” when it is actually the greatest manifestation of love that can be, not only for the person who is doing it and the person who is receiving it, but for the planet in general. Because every little inkling of awakening by one individual sends a little beacon out to the people around them.
As we all transform that sends that energy out to the world, and it joins with the energy of others who have transformed and are in the process of transforming. And it attracts people to them as well, those who are ready to be transformed. And then it starts them to start looking at themselves. It is an ethereal way of making changes with the other person, because you are doing it with yourself.
Someone I know mentioned that she made a statement out loud (though not directly to her mother) releasing her mother from the burden of giving up their authority to her. Later that same day they had some emails between them that was the first time she could remember which was a real communication between them. She felt more open and it felt like her mother was more open as well. If what you are is what you recognize then in her mother’s correspondence she didn’t see “ragging” then it was gone from her (the woman). She no longer could see it because it was no longer in her. And if it is between her and her mother and she let it go then literally it was gone with the mother as well. People pick up on the energy that is sent out, and the ties between mother/daughter is especially strong, and felt even greater.
This same person wakes up most mornings around 3am and goes through a discovery of looking at what is happening internally (psychologically) and clearing up residue that is there from the day before, as well as years of past build-up. This morning she woke up later than usual and was disappointed that she missed that time to clear. Then got on the internet and someone had posted something about “trust’ and she was able to do the clearing then. She had a stop point, not doing what she usually did in the morning, and then was able to pick up again later on.
So, even if you reach a place where you are stuck, and you stop, it can easily be started back up again by just noticing that you are there, and maybe even speak that out loud (or to yourself), “I am at a stop point, where shall I go from here?” And then wait to see what appears.