What I speak about has to do with an eraser not a pen. It is not about taking notes or learning anything. It is about emptying, emptying your mind. One way of doing this is to write out your life story, or talking about your life to someone, without getting into the drama and trauma of it. Just state it as you remember it, and be aware that memory is faulty.
If you are caught up in wanting things, it will be very difficult to empty yourself. To want things is to be adding things to your mind, and then wanting to get “empty” will not work because that very thing is already full. Transformation is not about adding things to your life. It is about clearing things out. Wanting to get empty is adding things to your life.
I have mentioned this before, and I will say it anew (not repeat it). Find one thing in your life and follow it through completely – that would be 100%, and you will find a void there. You will be empty. If you find a void in one spot, then it can grow as long as you don’t put something into the void.
Each generation develops the next generation coming up, and then that generation is set up so that it is the same as the generation before it. They never seem to ask what is causing the problems in our generation. We keep passing down the problems hoping the next generation will fix them for us. Yet, they don’t even have a clue that they can do something about it or what to do about it. They don’t even realize there is something there to do something about.
It is up to us to take care of things, and you cannot do it for anyone else. It is to be done by you, and when you break the chain that ties you to the generations (either back to your parents or to your children), it breaks the chain in all directions. Envision your life as this chain and watch it break, to explode all of a sudden. Then the chains of manipulation will be gone in all directions.
Most of us are not aware of what is going on in our lives. We need a whack with a 2×4 over the head to get our attention. We create illnesses, dramas and traumas to get this whack on the on the head These are all self-made whacking tools to wake us up, and sometimes we do notice it, but immediately we go right back to sleep. Yet most of the time we don’t see it, so we keep having to whack ourselves over and over. We are conditioned to only see what we want to see, the whole world can be falling apart around us and we only see this one thing or that one thing.
An addict sees the good parts of the drugs they are using and ignore the bad parts. If the consequences aren’t immediate, then it is easy to ignore them. If you have self-administered consequences, they happen in the moment of the using them. In the case of being a drug addict, while you do the drug notice the things that they say it does (the negative as well as the positive) as you do it. Take the responsibility for doing it while you are doing it. Then when you come out of your drug induced stupor, you can then see and notice the effects you expected did or did not happen.
If you admit in the moment of the happening what is happening, then you are taking responsibility for it. That is telling yourself the truth of it. I am not talking about excuses. Do not give reasons for doing drugs; just notice what happens when you do them.
Mentally, you can be self-administering consequences in every instance in your life. If you have a vision of shooting someone because they upset you, then say to yourself, “I am a murderer.” The instant that thought comes up you take responsibility. Responsibility does not mean blame or shame or guilt, it means to admit the truth of it and take action if possible.
See the things you are doing, and see what is going to happen when you do them. Then see what happens and take responsibility for each of those things in the moment. For example, if you smoke cigarettes, say to yourself, “Ok, I am going to have a cigarette, and my throat is going to hurt; my mouth will have a bad taste; I will feel sick and have a headache, all so I can have this cigarette.” Then you start to look at the pros and cons of what you are doing and see that the cons outweigh the pros. Look at what you are getting out of it. Many people list that it gives them a chance to take a break from whatever they are doing and a distraction from their life. It is also a drug that causes a small shift in your reality. A cigarette alters your life. You are going along, clicking away, and then you want to have a cigarette, and as you smoke your mind goes to that cigarette. It alters your experience of life.
Some people get very sick when they smoke, and yet they continue to smoke. One person told me that that she must like being sick, but she couldn’t accept that she wanted to be sick even though she said it. Sickness gives them something to talk to people about, and it gets them attention.
If you are willing to give your body up for attention or to get an altered state, you might at least acknowledge that you are doing that. Speaking the truth of that is a self-consequence. You are making yourself sick so you can get attention.
We are all at the effect of years and years of never having any stop time, so many people fill in their relax time with addictions. They eat or smoke cigarettes or do drugs or drink alcohol as “something to do,” something to fill in the void. We live a life of “do,” “do,” “do.” It is difficult to turn off the “do’s” without mind altering devices. Many people’s addiction is the goal of having a lot of money so they can sit around and do nothing, but when we sit around, we wish there was something to do.
There are some products out which advertise that you can continue to smoke while you take this product, which, of course, is what everyone who smokes wants to do. They want to continue smoking and looking like they are quitting. Just thinking about the thing we are addicted to is the same as it happening. As soon as you think about it, even if it is about not having it, you are having it.
Years ago many of my workshops were full of alcoholics and the one thing I would always ask them not to do was to start their day with the “one day at a time” because as soon as you say, “I am not going to drink,” you are bringing up drinking in your mind which causes you to fight the drinking. They even keep track of exactly how many days and even hours it has been since they had their last drink.
For most people it is difficult to be aware in the moment. When you are thinking you are not in the present, you are wherever your thinking is. If you are thinking about drinking, you are drinking. When you are thinking, you cannot be aware of what is going on around you. You don’t even notice the people you are with or what they are saying. You think you hear what they are saying, yet you do not hear it all or you don’t hear the same words they said. You interpret it and miss parts of it. Clarity of listening happens with an empty mind. When empty, the mind doesn’t distort anything.
People who have had a few near death experiences will experience other things and liken them to that near death experience. It will be like they die each time they have that “other” experience. The closer to death a person moves to, the greater the level of intelligence that is bestowed, or that you enter into. So when they have the psychological experience, then to them it is like a physical one. For example someone might have many near death experiences and also experience life as “unfair.” The unfair to them is similar to a near death experience.
People stuck in “life is unfair” are looking at many facets. Sometimes it looks like life is unfair. People kill others and get away with it, and people who don’t murder get accused and put in jail. Who determines if it is unfair for you? You do. What is fair is always determined by the person experiencing it. They might say something is unfair if it is happening to them, yet it is fair if it happens to someone else. It is a poor me, or a woe is me kind of thing they are stuck in.
There are two different sets of rules — one for them and one for you. To see it in context you must go through all the unfair until you get to fair. Life is unfair according to that person and life is unfair to that person. That is the epitome of being vain — that everything revolves around them. They might be living a life of luxury and bitching and moaning and complaining about how unfair everything is. Only someone who thinks they are the most important person in the world can think that life is unfair.
I have spoken to you about writing your life story, and possibly while writing it, you came up with the context of “life is unfair.” Now that it is written and sent to someone else to read, it can leave, float away. When you clear that, perhaps it is gone and nothing has taken its place. Now you can put that in the past, and speak of it as, “I used to feel life was unfair.” It is important to start putting things in the past tense linguistically so that you don’t keep putting them back in your life. Once it is seen and expressed, let go and put it in the past. Then you will be something new without the attachment to those things.
Sometimes people write out their life story and get stuck in the drama and trauma of it. That is not getting it out. That is wallowing in it. They get caught in all the pain of it, so that is where it stays. If you feel that even after writing it, you are stuck in it, then go back and look at how it was written. Look to see if you are still stuck in the drama and trauma of it. If the story of your life continues to make you sad or angry or jealous or full of pain, then possibly do the exercise anew and leave out the drama. Just state things as facts, even though it is based on memory, and memory is faulty.
It seems that almost everyone feels they had it worse than others in their family, and that their life/family was dysfunctional. Possibly write out your life story and where you might want to go into a “poor me,” turn it around and make the other person right. You all see our life in the context, that you are right. So, if you turn it around to the other person as right, you might start to see things clearer.