Sometimes I give people directions, not because I think I know the best way of doing something or that I know better, but to see if they can follow directions. Are they going to do what I asked them to do? The most valuable people in my life are those who do what I ask them to do. It shows that they care to support rather than tear down.
If you are in a partnership with another person, you need to work together and be able to support each other. If you do what the other asks you to do, then there is support and a partnership. Someone who is humble and cares to be of assistance would do as they are asked to do. If you do make an error, a mistake, and not do what is asked, then admit your mistake so that the partnership can start anew.
If we are in a life and death situation and it depends on my partner and myself, when I say I am going to do something, they know I am going to do that. When they say they are going to do something, I don’t know if they will, and they don’t know if they will do that. Often others change their mind frequently, because they don’t trust themselves. They cannot trust themselves to make a decision. So if it is a life and death situation and every decision has to do with both of our lives, it is known that I will do what I say and there is a good chance they will not, so it is best for them to follow my directions.
People who don’t keep their word, people who say one thing and do another or keep changing their minds, don’t trust themselves, and they don’t trust themselves because they don’t keep their word. They are stuck in a loop. One causes the other. They are afraid of making a mistake.
So if you don’t trust yourself to make the right decision, and you find that you have to make that decision; and then you find out you were wrong, you come back around and say to yourself, “I knew I couldn’t trust myself.” That reinforces the loop.
You can pick any point in that loop to end the cycle. It is self-defeating and it continues to reinvent itself because it reinforces itself. So any one point you pick which you can see all the through 100 percent will fix them all. Would you like to create trust for yourself? Would you like to keep your word? Would you like for it to be okay with you to be right or wrong?
You can pick any one of the contexts in the cycle, and you will get them all anyway. Let’s say you pick trust in yourself, and the next time a decision needs to be made, you make and trust it and stick with it. If it is wrong, or even if it is right, you allow it to be okay either way and not feel shame for being wrong or pride in being right.
Here’s a way to keep yourself in balance. If you make a decision and say “I am right,” and then if you notice a smirk or pride in it, you can say, “That certainly balances all those times I was wrong.” But if you say you are right and stay in “right,” then you are not going to balance out the times you were wrong. If you are wrong, then admit you were wrong. When you take responsibility for something being wrong and when that contextual action comes up again, ‘thought’ is not going to happen, and you will end up doing what essentially will be right. You will do it because you took responsibility for being wrong, and that is what sets up the dynamic for the right decision. The circumstances will be the same, though the situation will probably be different. Intelligence will recognize the circumstances and give you the answer to which way to go.
And, when you are okay with it being either right or wrong, it won’t matter anyway. And you might get to the point where you actually prefer it being “wrong” as that might get you to something new and different. And if you pick the “wrong” deliberately, that will also set things up to be “right” when that is needed.
There is a dynamic set up when you take responsibility for your life, for the mistakes in it, because in a certain sense there are only so many major mistakes you can make, and all of them have the same contextual action — you refuse to be wrong; you are greedy; you are vain; you are unworthy , etc. So all those things are there for you to make the mistakes, and when you take responsibility for all those mistakes, they disappear. It is almost like a magical thing that happens when you take responsibility and you speak the truth of it. You set yourself into the domain of “positive energy” (not the same as positive thinking).
But if you fight against taking responsibility and you are vain or unworthy and you can’t make a mistake and you can’t be wrong and you do not keep your word, then your whole life, all of it, is a mistake. Everyday, all day, you will be making mistake after mistake, after mistake because you did not take responsibility. It is a creative dynamic. If you take responsibility for your own trust, then you trust yourself.
Often you might think you are taking responsibility and say you are wrong, yet by the tone of your voice it seems obvious that you are just saying the words without really meaning it. The tonal quality of your voice says a lot about what you are saying. You might say the “correct” thing, yet the intention/thought behind it, or the energy behind it, relays something different. It comes down to hearing the tone of your voice to know if you are speaking truth or not. Our world has become master liars and often the person himself is not aware of it. Just about every excuse is a lie. We are all living a life that is a lie, so our life is filled with lies and mistakes.
There is a magical dynamic that is set up when you live your life from integrity and speaking truth. Things are presented to you that are magical; things just appear, and there it is (or isn’t). If you live your life as a lie and a cheat, then you have to lie and manipulate and cheat to get anything. Then you think that is the only way to get anything. If you took responsibility, and admit your mistake, it would be like magic —manna from heaven or something like that.