We have been taught that we cannot speak the truth of things because speaking truth has almost always gotten us in trouble. As a result we learned to use manipulation to get the things we want. Most people are not aware of the way they manipulate.
Some people are what I call takers and don’t realize it, they think they are being coy. Coy is making a pretense of being shy or modest, and it is a manipulation. The way they get things is not by directly asking for things, but by pulling back a little bit which causes others to come closer and then they would back up a bit more.
These people sort of suggest something or just give an indirect hint that they want something, and then say they don’t really want it, or want something different. This keeps the other person wanting to get it for them.
A coy person might think they don’t really want the thing, yet on a deep level they know that by rejecting it, or saying they don’t want it, that is how they will get it, and the more they pull back the more other people want to give them things.
Since they don’t ask for things outright, they are not aware that by their actions they are actually asking for things. And, because of that they usually get more things than if they were to directly ask for them. They don’t see they are takers because they cannot see that is what they are doing. This is a manipulation that has worked in the past; and since it worked, they continue to do it.
It is very difficult to see yourself because it is invisible to you. Others can see it very clearly in you, and sometimes point it out to you: and rather than hear the truth in what they are saying, you probably just get upset. People don’t want their manipulations to be seen by those they are manipulating, so they deny it if it pointed out.
None of these things are “bad” things, but they are something that you might care to see about yourself because these are the things that control you. You might think that is what is controlling others — and it is, but more importantly it is what is controlling you. Even if it were something “good” and it were controlling you, you might still care to let it go.
So, if you are someone who is seeking to discover yourself, pay attention to what others say about you. Don’t take offense to it, as that is not really hearing them, but actually listen, without any feelings, to the truth being shown you. The greatest gift someone can give you is to tell you what they see in you, because you cannot see it yourself. You might notice that you have never been in your own life, and that it has been chaos, and that you have been “absent” in it. I offer an invitation to you to now be in it, to have a life of ecstasy.