Children see everything around them, and they see it whole – with intelligence. They learn from their parents’ actions and tone of voice much more than from their words. They experience everything from their senses — what they hear, see, smell, touch and taste. They are viewing from the place of intelligence and seeing a world of insanity, and without realizing it, chances are they move away from it rather than just seeing the insanity of it all.
Doing or being the opposite, or moving away from something, is the same as the thing you are seeing. If you see the violence of people and go away form it by moving towards being a peaceful person, you will fall into the same trap as the violent people. All dualities are the same, just different extremes of the same spectrum.
That almost happened to me when my mother told me I was getting just like my dad. I saw I didn’t want to be like him, and I almost fell into the trap of being the opposite. There was a spark of intelligence still alive in me that said that would be the same thing. Instead I said that I didn’t know what I wanted to be like, and I knew that I didn’t want to be like my dad. This left an opening for something new to enter.
We live in a world of opposites, in duality. Many words have their opposite such as good/bad, right/wrong, happy/sad, etc. And then there are words that themselves have almost opposite meanings which adds to the confusion. For example, the word “responsibility” is a word that can bring us to transformation or drop us to the bottom of the pit. Responsibility is usually associated with the word “blame,” and thus people have a bad idea of this word.
The whole context of the word responsibility does include the word blame and right/wrong, good/bad, as you are responsible for all of it. You can say you are responsible for the mess on the floor. That is a true statement and doesn’t necessarily include blame even though many people add that to the meaning. You can say you are responsible for grocery shopping, which most people wouldn’t include any blame in unless you didn’t do it.
The same thing occurs when you get a driver’s license. There is an implied responsibility to obey the rules of the road. When you accept the driver’s license, in a sense you are giving your word that by virtue of this license you will perform these things and will not perform certain other things. So if you go out and speed you are literally breaking your word. You are literally making yourself a liar.
So the same is true in every action in our lives. When you give your word, you are taking responsibility for your life. Once you break your word in any form, you have lost your life; you have lost your energy for living; you have lost that spark. It could be a direct giving of your word or something implied. It is all giving your word.
This can get very convoluted and often does. Let’s take the example of someone who was brought up believing she needed to be a “good little girl.” This is a fake personality that the child created in order to fit into society, and yet it was her word to be that good little girl. So she has been living her life attempting to be this “good little girl” which is impossible.
It is hard enough to keep your word in a real sense, and when you start off with a lie like this fake self, then all you can do every time is to break your word; in essence lie all the time. You would be dealing in an ethereal context because there is no such thing as a ‘‘good girl.” It all depends on what other people say it is. “Good girl” is based on beliefs. If you are talking to a Christian a good girl is someone who goes to church on Sunday. If you are talking to an atheist, then a good girl doesn’t go to church at all. So in one of those cases you would not be a good girl. It is impossible to keep your word on this since it depends on too many variables, and each one is just an opinion to begin with. The definition always changed and you couldn’t possibly keep up with them all.
Now there was one possible way you could have kept your word in that situation even though it was a lie to begin with. You might have been able to see that all of it was what you accepted in your life to be true even if it was not, and you were the arbitrator of what your word is and what it is not.
We need to keep our mind constructed in such a way that it works in a balanced fashion, in a structured way; not structured like in concrete, brick and mortar, but structured in dealing with one thing you are going to deal with. This means not to multitask, to stay with just one thing at a time. So if you are going to live in the context of “good girl,” then you need to appoint an arbitrator who says what a “good girl” is. You are the moderator who will have the final say as to what a good girl is and does. Even though the good girl was a fake entity, you could have kept things in a structured way as to not be so confused in it. You could have become the moderator of what a good girl is. That would have kept a strong structure in your mind. Other people could not have caused you to be swayed this way and that with what they thought a good girl should or should not be. But, instead you allowed everyone else to dictate what it was, so you could never be it and could never keep your word, and you lived your life always in confusion.
If you could have done that, then it probably wouldn’t have been long before you became aware that you were working out of a false premise and noticed it was impossible to do, and probably that would have ended the lie you were living.
There is the breaking of your word and seeing that is what you are doing and acknowledging it, thus you would then be keeping your word. If you notice you are speeding, and you say to yourself out loud, “I am speeding. I am breaking my word.” Then you would slow down to the speed limit. In the moment of discovery and correcting your mistake, you are keeping your word.
You are 100 percent responsible for yourself. The only person you keep your word with is yourself because there is no one else you can keep your word with 100 percent. You might not be aware of this, but almost everything you say or think implies some sort of “giving of your word.” That is very difficult to see. If you can start to be aware of everything you say, even in jest, you will notice that in some way almost everything you say is about keeping your word and often see how crazy it are the things you say.
There is no such thing as partial responsibility. It is always 100 percent. We are all responsible for everything in our lives, and we are all responsible for what is going on in the world around us. That is complete responsibility – 100 percent.
So, I say that if you are not in an active role to transform yourself then you are part of the problem of the world. Transformation needs to be done by each individual because when people first form a group or a religion, things fall apart and become confused. It is difficult to see what needs to be done first because beliefs cloud our vision. When you see life through the beliefs you have, you cannot see that you are responsible for the world. All you can see are your beliefs, and those are all based on opinions and judgments — blame, guilt, shame, etc. You are already too buried to deeply to see the truth.
For example, people who own guns to defend themselves don’t see any other option other than the one of being shot or shooting. They don’t see the possibility of intelligence operating there in the moment and “kicking in” and doing something besides those two options. When I am asked what I would do in a potentially life or death situation, I say that I would see what to do in that moment, not before.
No matter what, whether you know it or not; whether you see it or not, you are always 100 percent responsible for everything in your life, the world, and seeing this can transform your life.