Someone on Facebook asked me this question: “What is the challenge to discovering ones feelings in order to speak truth about them?”
First of all, let me state here that I make a distinction between feelings and emotions. Feelings are frozen thoughts, things like anger, sadness or happiness, jealousy, greed, envy, guilt, pride, etc. Feelings come and go based on your thoughts. Discovering your feelings is a perfect action by itself, so there need not be any “reason” to do it as reasons sets up an expectation. Then if you don’t get what you expected, you’ve added another feeling — disappointment.
On the other hand, emotions are real, for they are perpetual and never changing. They are not removable. Most people have never experienced a true emotion since feelings are blocking them, so it is difficult for me to even give them a name. I do say that emotions are love, intelligence, and creation. Those emotions are the manifestation of the new consciousness, and they are buried or lost in our current consciousness.
The trap is that everyone wants all the good feelings and not the bad ones. They don’t see that if they are in the world of feelings, the good and the bad are always together. You cannot have one without the other. They haven’t made the distinction between feelings and emotions. As I stated in the beginning feelings are frozen thoughts, and emotions are real and perpetual. Love, Intelligence, and Creation can come to us when we are empty of our feelings, when we let them go.
Discovering your feelings is one of the most perfect experiences a human being can have because of the way we have been made to be. Some feelings seem to make us feel good and others seem to make us feel bad, so we get caught in the duality of feelings. People are at the effect of their feelings. When you can observe your feelings in the moment, you will realize they are attached to a thought or memory you have. I have often stated that feelings are removable, which, when removed, enables us to have memories without any sadness or happiness or any other feeling attached to them. If there were a reason to speak the truth of your feelings, it would be that speaking the truth of feelings removes them, and you will be able to respond to situations without anger or sadness or any other feeling.
You don’t need to speak to others about your feelings because other people aren’t going to understand them. Feelings have to do with the experiences a person had at the time the feelings were there. One person might say that her husband treated her like a princess and that it pissed her off. Another person might say that she would like for her husband to treat her like that. The first person might have felt she wasn’t worthy of that treatment, and the other might think she deserves it. The important thing is that you speak the truth of your feelings at least to yourself.
This is an exaggerated example, but maybe someone once said in a sarcastic and mean way, “You’re such a nice person.” when they actually meant the opposite, and that is etched in your memory. So now, every time someone says, “You’re such a nice person”, or even just “You’re a nice person” you get upset because you relate it back to the way it was said in the past. You may have forgotten the tone of voice used when that was said, and you remember only the words that were spoken. Then you interpret the words to mean that the person who says this to you now is not someone you want to talk to.
That is how convoluted things can happen and how feelings get associated with words. It gets more complicated, as in the example above, when the words are saying one thing, and the tonal quality of the voice says another. You may forget the happening as a conscious memory; yet the feeling is still attached to the words used, and just hearing the words again may be the trigger that sets you off into your feelings. That is why sarcasm is so damaging as it often says something nice in a mean and gruff way.
That is why feelings are very personal to the person. They happen in a personal way to the person who developed the feeling, which again I say is a frozen thought. The more the thought becomes frozen (repeated), the greater the belief is.
A feeling is a shorthand way for the brain to react to things developed over many thousands of years for survival. Feelings are an automatic response to a situation when you see or hear something, and you seemingly have no control over the feeling that arises. For many people, the thought doesn’t even have to be there anymore, and they react with feelings just from the habit of being that way. Possibly, that is why women are considered to be bitches by a lot of men. Perhaps the female was mistreated by the male years ago and she unknowingly carries a grudge, so now she is just used to being a bitch automatically in any given situation. The doctor would consider that to be a pre-existing condition. Most men will agree that women tend to have a lot more feelings than they do.
It surprises me when I point out to someone that they are angry and that they don’t even realize they are angry. They will argue about it, even yelling at me, “I am NOT ANGRY!” They don’t see that the anger, as well as all feelings, is controlling them.
The most robotic person in the world is the one who gets angry, yells, screams and hollers. Anger is all consuming, so you would think it would be easy to see it; yet in the moment, it is all of a person, so they cannot see it. That person might point out all the angry people around them, and yet they cannot see anger in themselves. If you can catch the feeling (anger) at its highest point, you can then see what is behind the anger—what originally happened that caused you to be angry. Normally, for most people it is hurt feelings. It is the ego having been crushed.
We are taught to have an ego, and then we use whatever feeling we can to protect it. Let’s say you did or said something at 10 years of age that caused people to laugh at you, which made you feel stupid, and from them on you might get really angry when you perceive that people are laughing at you. You had hurt feelings back then, and even though you might not remember the event, you will use anger to protect your ego if somebody says or even implies that you did something stupid or wrong.
Recalling the original event and looking at how you felt at the time can allow you to see how feelings come into being. Those are the frozen thoughts that cause us to be at the effect of our feelings. Simply speak to yourself that what happened to you at 10 years of age is “OK.” It happened and maybe say, “It was kind of stupid that I did that, and that is OK with me.” Speaking the truth and saying that it is “OK” releases feelings, and the release of feelings is to be free.