Knowing nothing is like standing in the middle of the world in front of seven billion people and throwing your clothes off and being completely naked. You would feel completely open and vulnerable; and if you were able to do that, nothing would scare you after that. The more you bare yourself and the larger audience you have when you bare yourself, the greater the experience of transformational opening.
A person I know came here and put up a lot of money to renovate a house, not knowing if she would get her money back out of it. It was so different than who she had been, and yet she did it. Not only did she throw her money at it, she threw her whole self psychologically and physically into it as well. She said it was scary at first, and then she got to a point where she was looking forward to seeing her flaws. Whereas before, the scariest thing for her was to see her own flaws, now she is looking for them. Not only is she seeing her flaws, she is also telling others about them, even on social networks where she is getting responses from others about them.
Once the things I talk about are seen, the words I have always been saying suddenly have meaning. You can see I am saying the same things I have always said, but now they can be seen by you for yourself. Being open and vulnerable and naked is exciting, not scary. It is an opportunity to see what is lying behind the veil, and each thing that is seen completely removes itself.
This person who put all of herself into everything she did discovered she had guilt and then she “confessed” it. She didn’t expect all the sorts of body sensations that came up, and she didn’t expect that because she figured she would feel better after confessing. She saw there was fear hidden behind the guilt. The confession brought up the fear of admitting she was wrong.
The ego seems to have a life of its own. It is born; it has a middle life and then a death (usually at the death of the physical body unless a transformation happens before that). The ego is almost like a person within a person, so if it sees something that will cause its death, it will do anything it can to not have that happen. Your ego will make sure you have so much fear that you will stop moving into the place of the unknown. Your ego is like your first child, and it is fighting to live. Sometimes the worst thing we can do is complement each other because complements only reinforce the ego and make it stronger.
We live in the world of duality – good/bad, right/wrong … and we think they are opposites – yet they are actually two ends of the same spectrum. We live our lives thinking that we are choosing one over another, not realizing there is no difference between them. I know these two females, and one is living in the context of unworthy, and the other is living in the context of vain. Yet both of those contexts are living in the other as well. The one who is living in vain feels much more unworthy than the one who is living in unworthy, and she has to add vain on top of it in order to push herself up. The one living in unworthy is so vain that she can tell you that she is unworthy. They seem to be the opposite yet they are the same.
I hear people say a positive mental attitude is better than a negative mental attitude, but they are both the same. They are both illusions. A sense of superiority or inferiority or a sense of unworthy or worthy is an illusion. So if you are living in that, you are living in illusion.
The entryway into the space of love is called “in love.” Most of you have been “in love,” and you know how exhilarating that is. Now consider that is just a tiny iota of what real love is. “In love” is the poking on love, and if you could poke all the way through, you would get to real love which is actually you being love itself.
The experience of being beyond that doorway is being in the moment. In that place, there is no future and no past. There is no thought of the person who used to be, the one the ego made. There are only bodily sensations of being where you are. It is scary and exhilarating at the same time.
Sometimes people who get to that place of exhilaration do something to distract themselves because it is so unknown, and they want to get back to the known. They say it feels so good they cannot stand it. They go get drunk or do drugs or smoke cigarettes or go in their car and try to get away from it. Also, they will go into memory, which is also a distraction. That drags the past into the present, and the present is lost altogether.
When you are there, staring into a new way of being where there is excitement and energy, you link it with a past memory, making it all lost. The “unknown” is gone once you bring in memory, for then you pull yourself back into the known and the past.