Many books written by millionaires state that to become a millionaire discover what millionaires do and then do that. Maybe the millionaire first says to get up at 6 A.M. and read the NY Times or exercise or do this or that. You read that and say,“To hell with this.” so you don’t get up until 10 A.M.; you don’t read the newspaper or exercise or anything else he says to do. Now you are already not following his plan, and then you will say his plan didn’t work.
To step outside of yourself is to do something new, something different. When you put yourself to the side, stepping outside of your ego self, you will find a space, an opening to something new. That is what it is I am saying as well about transformation. Experiment with what I have to say. Do it for you, yet follow the general direction I am pointing towards. This might get you out of your comfort zone and possibly into a whole new you. Yet, most of you think you already know how to do it, and so you don’t listen or experiment with what I have to say. I am not saying that what you have been doing is all wrong, just that it hasn’t worked. So possibly if you do something different it might work.
If you care to get somewhere, maybe it is best and easiest to find someone who has already been there and find out what they did to get there. I am not saying to do what I say word for word. I am saying to listen with what I am saying and then experiment with it on your own. When you find a context in which to see yourself, be aware of who it is that is watching, and be careful not to create another self to watch the watcher.
For example, if you are looking at your fake/ego self from your fake/ego self, don’t create another fake self to watch you watching it. It gets complicated, and sometimes what happens can drive you deeper into insanity. You start to see there are different tiers or levels of you causing more separation. Take a look at it. Is it the fake self watching the fake self? Or a more powerful question might be, can those two fakes actually be real? Is that dual watching, or is that actually observation which is the self becoming a singular self? You don’t want to go the other way and cause more separation. You might then ask in what way can you see it is not the fake self rather than the observer? The answer is by observation.
Asking a “what” question implies a single movement, whereas a “how” question asks for a road map. After that single movement, there is a multitude of options, and it was that single movement which opened up the possibilities. If there is thought preceding the action, then it is still the fake self watching and not the observer. Thought preceding an action is always manipulation. The fake self might still be there doing an action preceded by a thought, and the observer will notice the thought that precedes the action. The fake self watching the fake self will probably not see the thought preceding the action. When there is no thought preceding the action, then the observer and the observed are one.
This movement towards transformation is not that there is no more thought, you will just have a distinction of when you are doing an action from thought and when you are doing it from nothing. Once you see through your feelings (what is behind them), you will not have thought preceding your actions. There will be a space of nothing where in the past a feeling might have been there. This is emptying yourself of those feelings/thoughts. When you empty that space, the feeling is gone. You don’t have any more to put into it, and there is not an attraction to attract more of it.
For example, if you see you are jealous over something, and clear that jealousy. It is gone, and you will not have jealousy there to attract other situations that will bring jealousy with it. The same is true of any feeling. We create a context for them the first time we have them. For example, if when you are a child you are in a family you perceive as full of hate, you will create the context of hate. From that time on you will attempt to fill that context with content or someone or something to hate. If the hate is removed in context, there is nothing there to attract hate. It just dissipates into the atmosphere, and you remove it when you tell the truth about it or any feeling or a thought in the moment.
Speaking the truth dumps it out, removes it. Then there is only an empty space. If the feeling comes along again, there is no place for it to hold onto. Yet, maybe there is still something that affects you, but it will not be added to an already existing pile, so it will be small and you will be able to see it more clearly. It might be more like “oh, there it is again,” and then it will be gone.
The same is true with relationships. If you clear something that has been a manipulation which has been keeping your relationship together, then there might not be anything to keep that relationship together any more. For example, possibly you are being a mother to your partner, and he is being a little boy being taken care of, and that is what brought the two of you together. Now, if you clear the beliefs you have about being a mother and having to take care of someone; and he doesn’t clear his need to be taken care of, then you two might find there is no longer a bond between you to keep you together. There is no longer the attraction for the same thing, so something new would need to be created. In order to empty yourself of what is dragging you down, you need to speak the truth of it in the moment of it happening. When you do that, it will no longer be there controlling your life.
When you don’t speak the truth of it, that thing controls your life. It controls your next movement, and then it controls the next movement on top of that one, and it keeps getting worse. Speaking the truth is the most powerful and the most dynamic thing you can ever do, and it needs to be done on a daily basis and it needs to be that emptying out so that there is no connection or attachments to anything. If there is any connection or anything you are attached to, it will be a weight; and you will be dragging it along and attracting other similar stuff to it.
I will take that example of that child in the family full of hate. She kept adding to that thing called “I hate.” The hate seemed to come more from the men in her family, so she then formed the belief that she hated men. Then she might resist getting into a relationship with a man because she associated that hate with all men. She built her life around that context of hate and filled her life with it by attracting things she hated.