“Want” causes only pain and suffering, as you will never get what it is you want. All “want” can do is “want more”. Children are taught to “want” almost as soon as they are born. They are asked to make choices, to make comparisons and to assess that one thing as “better” than another. This is the beginning of “want.” If you see a child who just wants more, more, more .. you might notice they are negative in their outlook on life. Maybe then look to see if you are also negative in your outlook in life. If so, you might notice that you also “want” many (more) things.
There is a distinction I make between want, need, and necessity. It is important to see this distinction in your life. Look at each “want” as it comes up, and look to see if it is a function of your ego or a function of staying alive. If you don’t get what you want, is that going to kill the real you? Is your “want” more important than your life? That is the manner in which you can discover yourself. Look at all your wants. Does your “want” propel you to be free, or does it propel you to be trapped?
Look at “want” from a mental construct. Would a person who is stuck in want ever be able to be free? No. They would be stuck in “want and more”. So, if your intent is to be free, then “want” would need to disappear. As long as you hold the context called “want” then all you will do is want. And often what you want will take precedent over what other people want, or you will not be happy. If you are arguing and fighting for what you want, that is just reinforcing the past beliefs.
I have suggested that people take the word “want” out of their vocabulary because removal of it actually takes out the action and the word. If you remove want from your vocabulary, then want (and more) might disappear from your life. Want and more move together.
If you take want out of our vocabulary then you would not mind whatever is happening. You won’t mind if you have Sugar Puff Flakes or Rice Krispies for breakfast. You won’t “want” either. You just won’t mind whatever you have. This is being able to say “Yes” to life. The negativity will end on its own, and there will be no fake positive hiding it.
Just take “want” out of your vocabulary and see what happens. See what happens with your life; see what happens with your conversations. Experiment with exchanging it with a different word. Sometimes that is just a “fake it till you make it thing,” and sometimes it is real. Some possible word substitutes are “care” (or “care to”) or “like” or “prefer.” Substituting a different word also will put a pause in your life, in your words, as you will stumble over using the new word. It gives you a brief pause which might be an opening for something new to enter.
Pausing/hesitation gives you the possibility of seeing your conditioning because it interrupts the program. If you are always using the words “more and want”, stop and look at that, and substitute a different word. Then you might actually look at what it is you really care to say. Using the word “care”, for example, has a softness to and shows that you will put some care into it.
It has to do with dimensional thinking or constructed thinking. If you ”care to”, that conveys concern, a whole lot greater an action than “want”. If you say “care to” it is OK if you do, and it is also OK if you don’t. But if you want it, you have got to have it. And sometimes the want gets to be obsessive, and then it becomes a necessity. It is a childish action from an adult who is stuck as a child.
I also suggest you start to use the words “thank you” as this speaks to the word more. If you start to say “thank you,” I guarantee it will remove a great deal of your natural tendency to be negative. You have made your life naturally negative and saying “thank you” will start to remove that negativity from your life. Negativity is not natural. It is just that you have created it to be natural, and that negativity comes from wanting more. You are never grateful for what you have, and you never think you have enough. If you have appreciation then “more” is gone.